Otters Oddities

"Ach, you see mein kinder, das ist ein perfect example of someone from Tehran. Or maybe New Dehli..."

I can guarantee that line is not what that man said. That picture is from a distasteful time in human history. It's a picture from the late 1930's in Germany. What the man is doing is, showing his other students what makes a perfect aryan specimen.

Of course, he was wrong. But he didn't know that. He had bought into the malarky his fuehrer was spouting.

Hitler had an idolized version of the perfect man in his mind. And he called them aryan. Hitler's aryan was tall, blond, square chined, and very nordic in appearance. You know, everything Hitler and his cronies weren't. The only one of Hitler's inner circle that met the criteria of aryan was Rudolf Hess. And he spent the war in prison in England because he tried to make peace without Hitler's knowledge.

But Hitler's aryan wasn't what an aryan actually is. It's a subset of what an aryan is, but all an aryan is, is a person who was one of the original speakers of the Indo-European language. And those people looked nothing like Hitler's vision of them.

The actual aryans, the originals, were known as the Hittites and Mittani. They were a people who lived in Southern Iran and surrounding areas. They swarmed into Anatolia and formed the Hittite Empire and Mittani Kingdom. This was about 1,700 BCE.

From there they invaded south, across the Kush and into India. There they are thought to have founded the Vedic culture.


The Hittite Empire is not the same as the biblical Hittites. They called themselves Hattians, but because there was a previous culture, not related to the Hittites, called the Hattians, archeologists who first uncovered their cities called them Hittites. Biblical Hittites were a group of Canaanites who may or may not be related to the Anatolian Hittites.

As you can see, actual aryans bear no resemblance to Hitler's aryans. But, because German is an aryan language, Hitler played with geography and had the aryans origin take place in the nordic countries. To him, it made sense. After all, the aryans were unstoppable. Until they were stopped, of course. But in their heyday, no one could beat them.

They, among many other Bronze Age cultures, tamed the horse. The difference is, they invented the chariot to attach to the horse. And chariots were the super weapon of the day. Thus the aryans were able to conquer much of South West Asia and India. And their language evolved into modern Germanic. So, in a sense, the aryans were the master race of Europeans. Eastern Europe, at least.

And that brings us to todays subject. And since today is Monday, that means it's Fun-day! Well, Made Up Monday, at least. I give you a fact, you tell me if I made it up or not.

But first, some background.

Hitler was a whack-job. That fact can not be debated. Even if you share his opinions about certain races, he was a whack-job. (don't believe me? Look at how he managed the war. He made insane decisions from start to finish) One of the things he tried to do was to create his master race.

This would be a race of tall, blonde, blue eyed super humans. When the German army invaded countries, children who fit the criteria were taken from their parents and given to Germans to raise as aryans.

However, genetics being the fickle bitch she is, it was understood that this wouldn't work on it's own. Some other methods needed to be used.

So the practice of encouraging German men to procreate with as many women as they could was started. Special birthing hospitals were created where the women would go to give birth and to raise their children as aryans. If the mother wasn't suitable, a proper German family was given the baby to raise.

And when the Germans occupied Norway, the Norwegian women were 'encouraged' to make babies with the perfect German specimens. It was named the Lebensborn program. You'll notice the use of the quotation marks around the word encouraged. I think you can infer what that means.

That's your background. Now comes the fact you have to tell me if it's true or false.

The most famous of the Lebensborn children is none other than Agnetha Faltskog, best known as the blond female singer in ABBA.

So tell me kiddies. Did I just lie to you? Or did Unka Otter tell you the truth?

I'll let you know tomorrow.